The New Crop: Issue #21
"Don't just do something, stand there."
What’s in this issue:
💭 Thought: “Don’t just do something, stand there.”
📚 Read: Make the First 90 Days Count
😆 Today’s Laugh
I was vacationing with my family in Cape Cod, Massachusetts last week, which ended up being perfect timing to hear about this local news story…
Officials in a Massachusetts town said that the word “School” was supposed to be painted on the road outside of a middle school, but the word was accidentally misspelled as “Shcool”.
A round of applause to town officials (or at least their social media managers), who had some fun with the mistake while waiting for the typo to be corrected:
💭 Today’s Thought
There’s a Buddhist saying that goes like this:
“Don’t just do something, stand there.”
The times when I’ve been least empathetic and least connected to others were the times when I attempted to “fix” situations, prematurely jump into action, or make people feel better when in fact, that’s not what they asked for or needed.
Instead, they just wanted someone to be with them. To stand there.
I’ve learned that there are at least two critical (and false) assumptions underlying the fixer mentality:
Something is broken.
I’m the best person to fix it.
Challenge, struggle, and pain are the stuff of life, not an indicator of brokenness. And the best person to chart the path through that struggle will be the person standing right in the middle of it.
Lowering the volume on the fixer mentality doesn’t happen overnight (as a recovering “fixer”, I know this from experience 😅). After all, for many of us, being able to solve problems quickly is what got us to where we are today.
But here’s one thing you can start doing right away when you notice yourself jumping into problem solving mode in conversations…
Ask the person you’re speaking to a variation of this question: How can I best support you right now?
This question allows you to slow down and attune to what they need and not what you need.
And sometimes, the best thing you can do to help someone move forward is to first help them stand still.
📚 Today’s Read
This article comes from Deb Liu, CEO of Ancestry.com, in her newsletter Perspectives. If you’re transitioning roles or jobs, or know someone who is, check out this article for insights on how you might spend your first 90 days. Plus, you’ll get a downloadable template of a 30/60/90-day plan for yourself, or to share with others. Enjoy!
P.S. - I highly recommend Deb’s newsletter!
See you next week!
xo,
Anne