The New Crop: Issue #71
blame stifles learning + "6 rules of effective communication in difficult conversations"
What’s in this issue:
💭 Thought: Blame stifles learning
📚 Read: 6 Rules of Effective Communication in Difficult Conversations
😆 Today’s Laugh
Parenting is no joke. Hoping these quotes can bring you some laughter amidst the day-to-day struggles.
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong willed but that will not be today, not in this grocery store.” – Unknown
“On our 6 a.m. walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it’s in heaven, visiting Daddy’s freedom.” — Ryan Reynolds
💭 Today’s Thought
Blame stifles learning.
This is true both at a team or systems level and on a personal level.
When I facilitate retrospectives for teams, I often start by introducing Norm Kerth’s Prime Directive, to establish a safe, blame-free container:
Regardless of what we discover, we understand and truly believe that everyone did the best job they could, given what they knew at the time, their skills and abilities, the resources available, and the situation at hand.
Unless everyone fully embraces this directive — and casts away all blame and judgement — learning and growth cannot occur.
Now on a personal level…
If you tend to give yourself a hard time for choices you make or actions you take, try replacing “we/they/everyone” in Norm’s directive above with “you”, and see what happens. What, if anything, does this give you?
Where in your work and life can you make more room for learning and less room for blame?
📚 Today’s Read
6 Rules of Effective Communication in Difficult Conversations
Beginning a conversation is an act of bravery. When you initiate a conversation, you fearlessly step into the unknown. Will the other person respond favorably or unfavorably? Will it be a friendly or hostile exchange? There is a feeling of being on the edge. That nanosecond of space and unknowing can be intimidating. It shows your vulnerability.
— Sakyong Mipham, The Lost Art of Good Conversation
Check out this article for six guidelines to support you in your next difficult conversation.
See you next week!
xo,
Anne