The New Crop: Issue #77
the courage to apologize + "distinction bias: why you make terrible life choices"
What’s in this issue:
💭 Thought: The courage to apologize
📚 Read: Distinction Bias: Why You Make Terrible Life Choices
😆 Today’s Laugh
💭 Today’s Thought
I messed up this week.
My 5-year-old was home sick for 4 days at the end of last week and over this past weekend. We finally sent him back to school on Tuesday and I was doing a happy dance in my office after he got on the bus. 💃
It turns out I celebrated too soon, because he got sent home on Tuesday afternoon, as his fever returned. When I went to school to pick him up, I was asking the nurse some questions and got frustrated with her responses, but more so, with the situation itself.
I ended up having an argument with her that did not need to happen.
I let my stress and frustration in that moment get the better of me.
Put simply: I messed up.
A few hours later, I was faced with a decision: do I pretend like it didn’t happen and move on or do I send her an email apologizing?
I quickly found a handful of reasons why I should do the former.
But underneath all of them sat the truth — I felt embarrassed. And acknowledging that I messed up felt downright embarrassing.
In the end, I pushed past that feeling and sent her an email with an apology, which was met with a kind and appreciative response.
This experience offered a few reminders and lessons learned:
Saying “I’m sorry” is a courageous act. And the opportunity for re-connection that it offers is so worth it.
Apologies, if they’re heartfelt, should feel uncomfortable. The discomfort means you’re doing it right.
Anyone in any minute can have a moment of weakness where they say or do things they don’t mean. Have the courage to ask for forgiveness when that moment happens to you, and have the grace to extend the benefit of the doubt when it happens to others.
A challenge for the week: if there’s an apology you’ve been resisting giving, can you find the courage to offer it?
📚 Today’s Read
Distinction Bias: Why You Make Terrible Life Choices
Instead of optimizing for what will make us happier in the long-term, we play “spot the difference” regarding attributes that don’t matter much. Though savvy marketers can use this bias to sell us stuff that may not make us better off, there’s no reason we have to keep falling for their tricks. After all, the trick is in our own heads. By understanding our cognitive quirks, like distinction bias, we can outsmart our own brains.
- Nir Eyal
Click here to read more about distinction bias, how it affects the choices we make, and how to outsmart your brain.
See you next week!
xo,
Anne