The New Crop: Issue #95
the many meanings of silence + "stop fighting your users to be right"
What’s in this issue:
💭 Thought: The many meanings of silence
📚 Read: Stop Fighting Your Users to Be Right. Start Listening and Surrender.
😆 Today’s Laugh
This is a very old one that you’ve probably seen before, but never ceases to bring me a smile. :)
💭 Today’s Thought
One of the toughest things to get comfortable with for so many of us is silence.
That awkward pause in a meeting…
The lack of response when we share an idea with someone…
Or even the quiet we experience when we don’t have something commanding our attention, or something we’re actively doing…
Our brain makes silence mean lots of different things, and usually they aren’t “good” things. Things like:
“No one likes my idea.”
“I’m doing something wrong.”
“People don’t feel engaged.”
“People don’t care about this.”
“People are confused.”
“I’m/we’re wasting time.”
But silence can also mean:
People just need some time to think before they speak.
People are deeply reflective about this topic.
I’m restoring the energy I need to face the next task/challenge/discussion.
Silence doesn’t carry any definitive meaning until we interrogate it — until we ask other people what’s going through their minds and hearts.
In fact, those moments of pause in a conversation can be THE thing a group needs in order to surface the best ideas, the most pressing questions, the most insightful perspectives. Sometimes, people really do just need time to think. Silence can be a gift, if you allow it to exist.
A few questions to ponder this week:
What beliefs do you hold about what silence means, and how do those beliefs drive your behavior?
What, if anything, would more silence in your work, meetings/gatherings, and life make possible for you and those around you?
📚 Today’s Read
Stop Fighting Your Users to Be Right. Start Listening and Surrender.
We treat user resistance as something to overcome rather than something to learn from. We see workarounds as bugs rather than feature requests. We view “incorrect” usage as a training opportunity rather than valuable feedback.
You think you’re fighting the good fight — and as painful as it is, I bet that’s exactly what it feels like. But it’s time to let down your guard, and lay down your weapons, and cede some control over to your users.
Bonus: treating resistance as something to learn from and not fight against feels like a great re-frame for other life challenges, too. ;) Click here to read more about how you can learn from your users/customers.
See you next week!
xo,
Anne